It Was to HIM...

I think the world of you and I think the best of you
I respect you and I look up to you
Don't know why I'm so fond of you
Don't know why I sometimes have a fear of you
You make me feel good and you also make me feel bad
You cause me to overload with joy and you cause me to drown in hurt
Can't explain the confusion I bask in
Can't reach your enclosed thoughts
I think so highly of you. I have reverence for you.
I hope and wish the best for you. I pray for you.
Words can't explain what goes on in my heart and in my mind
(My) Words can't penetrate into your atmosphere
My actions didn't support me enough
My actions can't sustain your attention
You are a highlight of my life, yet at the same time, you are a lingering dark shadow
You have patience like a rock. You have a calmness as a breeze
I verbalize my sentiments. I utter my position.
I don't know if I matter. I don't know if I weigh in your existence.
The doorway to your heart is sealed shut for me. The doorway to your mind is stamped closed for me

The access to your intentions are clouded. The entry to your purpose is blurred
The strength and the metier you possess when you satisfy me is ineffable
The potency of your libido induces me to climax in numerable ways
Countless various ways expressing my innermost thoughts and feelings, yet, no recognition
Countless requests for my favors mostly fulfilled, yet, mostly not even a little feedback

Think of me as a whore is claimed to be not so.; but a wholesome woman is unannounced

Think of me as a person with potential to capture your substance or a person of no value to you, the latter seems evident in my world

Never would I have thought you would influence me to scribble down written word in such a beautiful manner

Never would I have thought you would give me a purpose to express myself this way to you, even with my fears

The muscular organ that pumps blood to function is lightless, it's heavy because of this

The muscular organ that God looks at and knows is screaming for you, but He is strengthening it because of this.
I appreciate your stance, you never blew me away

I appreciate your patience, how long can you continue to tell me to "relax"

You know my thoughts, feelings and desire, my words and actions are one in the same

You don't want me to know your thoughts, feelings and desire, your words and actions are two different things

I'm close to learning not to expect. I'm close to learning what I've known all along

I'm not in denial, never have been. I'm not stupid, I'm just consistent

Forgive me, it takes a while for me to drop hope. Forgive me, I'm persistent in sharing all of what I have even when it goes behind your display

Thank you for presence in my life. Thank you for having me in yours.

 

(12/12/12)