Addict of a Sexual High

As she lays on the floor words can't describe the ecstasy she's feeling
The high she gets is unlike anything she has experienced before
He is her drug. He is her sexual high. He is her addiction.

Lying on the floor, the sexual high consumes her
She cannot believe what she is feeling
The climax she experienced is not ending causing her to bask in a sense of a sexual high

Feeling like a drug addict, she feels the want to get a drug induced high
He has her hooked on his sex, she wants to try a drug to feel that high
Addicted to him, he gives her the sexual high of a long-lasting climax well after the sex being over

Lying on the floor, she can't help but to feel drugged by the power of his sex
This high she's going through causing her to cry not knowing the reason
Sexual highs she feels, makes her feel so unreal

As she lies on the floor, she tries to contain the high she's feeling off of him
The high she is continuing to feel, is making her fall further and further into her addiction to him
He is her high. He is the drug. He is her drug. His sex is her addiction. He is her sexual high

BDSM: How I See It

I don't like the dirty looks I get when talking about my interests in bdsm. I really don't share with everyone I speak with about this particular affinity of mine. It makes me feel bad and it makes me feel sad when someone looks at me in a weird way after telling them I like bdsm. I feel violated, those that frown upon it makes me feel as if something is wrong with me. Okay, so some people know my secret. It doesn't make me bad person. I'm used to being called a "weirdo", because everyone has always called me that; even when meeting someone new. Yes, I'm weird, but don't judge me. There's a safe and healthy way with participating in bdsm. And before you get to judging me, for you information, I have only participated in only a few acts of bdsm, the rest is all fantasy and wishful, hopeful thinking. The things I talk about while describing such acts, yes they are things that I will like to experience. Some things I have already did without the bdsm factors (such as compromising positions without all the torture and abuse, whips and chains). I have gotten my feet wet with this, and I attend on doing a lot more. Don't try to make me feel uncomfortable because of this. You wouldn't want anyone looking down on you because of your secrets...now would you?

How does BDSM make you feel when you hear someone mention it? What do you think about it? Is it bad? Is it something you would try? Why do you think its so weird and or nasty/filthy? Does something has to be wrong with someone because they like to talk about it or participate in it? Let's break it down to see what it is... In its most basic nature...

BDSM: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism
~Bondage is when you are restraining your partner (or vise versa). Or it can be the act of just restraining a particular body part (like breast bondage, wrist bondage, ankle bondage..etc)

~Discipline is just the restraining with the use of rules and punishment. (Punishment can be any kind of pain being afflicted... Whatever you like! Break the rules, and that's twenty hits with a Flogger. Whatever you and your partner come up with.

~Dominance is when one partner exercises control over the other, similar to (Sadomasochism one who enjoys afflicting sexual pain)

~Submission one who is submissive, consensually gives up all control to their "Master" (the dominant partner); slave

~Sadism (as mentioned with Dominance) Practitioners of sadomasochism usually seek out sexual gratification from the acts of afflicting pain

~Masochism (the opposite of Sadism) this is me. I am a Masochist, one who enjoys receiving pain, sexually. Subset of BDSM - S&M, yeah that Rhianna song! I was into this way before that record came along! S&M is usually just role-playing

You also have you TOP, the person doing the action, and the BOTTOM, person who receives. Not to be confused with Dominate and Submissive. There are things like "Pup-Play"(similar to "Animal Play", where the submissive slave acts like a puppy, whines, eats and drinks from a doggy bowl, growls etc, all for sexual gratification. There is "Tease and Denial", (similar to Erotic Sexual Denial) which is making the other person stay aroused while delaying or preventing sexual intercourse or resolution of the feelings, its keeping them in a continual state of anticipatory tension. So basically its heightening ones (sexual) sensitivity. You also have "Knife Play" and "Gun play", a fear of weapons is crucial in playing the part in stimulating the Submissive. The Knife Play serves as a slow, methodical form of stimulation, usually not breaking/cutting the skin, to the Sub. The Gun Play serves as a stimulate to the Sub as well. I have experienced the Gun Play, I will love to experience the Knife Play. "Breath Control" is when the Dom controls the Sub's breathing, this too is something I will like to do. "Impact Play" is my favorite; This involves the use of floggers, riding crops, whips, paddles, and etc. "Bondage" is my favorite as well (as mentioned above). I've been handcuffed before. I've been zip tied before. I would like to do the whole body bondage and ankle bondage as well. And I will like to be Hogtied. "Consensual non-consent" is something I want to do when I want to do the "Rape Fantasy/Ravishment" (which is consensual play rape). The Consensual non-consent is an agreement of consent given without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned; with a clear, safe and set limits are placed on the activities. This is describe as partners who deeply trust and understand each other, and knows each other extremely well. Only when you have a relationship such as that, you should participate in BDSM and any of its activities,
             The play-rape is the only thing that I would ever feel bad about. Why? Because I know there are women being out there in the world that has been raped, and it happens everyday. So how dare I want to make it into a game? Yes, I feel bad about wanting to engage in such a fantasy. Even with that being my thoughts, I cant help but to still want it. I had a partner that I could trust, however we no longer can see each other. So it's not going to happen anytime soon. I just hope when I find the one for me, that he wouldn't mind this and I hope he doesn't freak out about this either. I need this in my life.

So, here you have it. Am I sick for liking sexual pain? Okay, I will admit that it is a little unorthodox, but no harm as long you have a willing and trusting partner. That is all it really takes. Oh and of course a Safe Word!

A guy "friend" once asked me why am I into bdsm, how did I get into it. Well, since being molested when I was 7, I grew up feeling all types of weird sexual feelings. I guess the older I got, the more it made sense that pain and sex goes together. I blame my affinity of BDSM on me being molested as a child. I got used to the abuse that I experienced back then, and I grew up with it. I was submissive when I was 7 years old when that happened, so it's only right and fair that I be submissive now when involved in sexual activities. I don't mind it, and I know what my predator did wasn't right and I don't have to be involved in bdsm because of that, but its a part of me now. I enjoy it. I embrace it. I like it. I won't stop. Credit to bdsm videos that I have been exposed to, and various social media outlets that have spread such content so freely. And also to my dark past that I lived. Some things from the past just mold and shape you into who you are when you get older, or at least parts of you. Will I do this for the rest of my life, well, I don't know. All I can say is that I am not ready to stop, or quit right now. There is a lot more that I want to do with this!


 How do you see it?

Jail Cell

Put me in a jail cell and lock me up
Handcuff me and don't let me go
Put me in a jail cell and make me feel uncomfortable
Handcuff my wrists to the bars
Rip my clothes off and coke me
Strip my clothes off and squeeze my neck
I'm in prison therefore I am your prisoner
I'm in prison therefore you are my Master
I've been bad, so punish me
I've be corrupted, so abuse me
Take out your club and hit my body with it
Take out your club and 'you know what' me with it
Blindfold me and do something with me
Blindfold me so that I'm in darkness when you make my body chill
Gag me with your utility belt so no one can hear my screams
Gag me with your belt so I won't be able to tell you to stop
Take a sheet and tie my body to the jail cell bars
Take a sheet and tie my legs to the jail cell bars
Once bound, torture me
Once bound, abuse me
Release me from the bars but, lock me up to the bed
Release all gags, ties and handcuff me to the bed
On the jail cell bed, lying face up you handcuff my ankles and wrists to the bed posts
Tie my wrists to the bed above my head
Tie my wrists tight so I won't be able to fight back
Look me into my eyes and call me a filthy name as you have your way with me
Look me into my eyes and call me whatever you want as you do whatever you want to me
You're done, for now, playing BDSM in this Jail Cell game
You're finished, for now, in our "this should stay secret" Jail Cell fantasy

How X Feels

Sex makes me feel good, but it also makes me feel bad
Sex makes me cry, but it also makes me smile

It feeds my longing, but it also starves my soul
It feeds my feelings, but it also deprives my emotions

When I engage in it, my heart becomes extremely heavy
When I engage in it, my mind becomes exceedingly weak

After it's over my being feels unreal
After it's over I feel unbecomingly

I incure emptiness and brokenness more deepened every time I use my body
I incure voidance and uncompleteness more vividly every time I use my body

Already shattered, sex fractures me
Already fragmented, sex damages me

Why do what causes so much pain? It's a learned experience
Why continue to do what results in affliction? It's a childhood disease grown

My ways are to submit to a man, it is what I am lettered to do
My ways are to accede to what a man wants from me, it is what I have been tutored to do

Sex is my reminded continued confirmation that molestation existed
Sex is my reminded ongoing substantiation that molestation is wrong in its nature

It steals my happiness, it clones bliss
It steals my peace of mind, it clones calmness...

Sex makes me feel good, but it also makes me feel bad
Sex makes me cry, but it also makes me smile
^This is how sex makes me feel, this can't be normal
^This is how sex makes me feel, I am sexually abnormal

It feeds my longing, but it also starves my soul
It feeds my feelings, but it also deprives my emotions
^The normalcy of the constant being of these sensations lives within me every day
^The normalcy of the functions experienced together, the sex and pain, arrives in me every time

When I engage in it, my heart becomes extremely heavy
When I engage in it, my mind becomes exceedingly weak
^The emotionally anguished affects of being abused is always present with my current encounters
^The sentimented distress affects of being assaulted is always occurring with my present encounters

Already shattered, sex fractures me
Already fragmented, sex damages me
^My past experience stole every thing away from me, my innocence was taken
^My past hurt and pain steals every bit of satisfaction from my current meetings, I think I'm trying to find my innocence....

Mi Papi

Words cannot describe this man
My speech is stunted in trying to describe the way he pleases me
His body is beautifully colored, in a heavenly light
The audio of his voice arouses my sexuality
Having a touch that tingles all the way down to my core
Bones chilling from him partaking in awakening my passion for him
Every time we come together there's a fire that burns between us
When our bodies touch the feeling is so staggering
I call him my Mexican (secret) lover
Thirty-eight years, so he knows how to take care of me and treat me like a woman
Being twenty-five so I know he can teach me more and more
Desires from him imagining bringing me into a lifestyle that has me shared, but he would never leave my side
I'm willing to go beyond for him...
Because each time, the passion, the heat, we give off to each other is unstoppable
Mi Dios! The way he hungers after me and feeds himself to satisfaction!
My god, taking him so perfectly, fitting utterly undeniably!
Not able to get enough of each other, the passion, the heat, mi papi gives it to me all!
My insides makes him relinquish so well onto me
Not able to have the cravings go away, me being his adorable chula, I supply to him what he craves for in all!
He's my caliente Mexican sexo!
And I'm his lindo negro mama!
Hope in his voice when demanding me to always give him what feels so good to him
Promise of yes, to e'er supply the demands of mi papi, my mexican fan

INTERLUDE

When he entered into my life, he turned it around
My life felt lifted from the ground
When he came into my life, he made me happy
My life became as light as it could be
He genuinely liked me and wanted me as a friend
But even the most passionate acquaintances may come to an end
I don't want us to get caught, I don't want us to get found out
However, I wont stop if he can keep us safe, if this all stays hush knowing for sure, without a doubt
Unsure where this is going, but sure enough to a road of where I will not be happy
He's not mine, but someone elses, he has his cake and eating too, leaves me to be a downsome me
Eager to pick up where we left off, where we couldn't get enough of each other,
Anxious, to resume our hot sessions, one right after another
We started so quickly, moving too fast
It had to come to abrupt halt, but the passion still lasts...

Safe Word

If it's a rope, then tie me up
If it's your hands, then choke me
If it's a belt, then whip me
Oh, how about his for an idea; wrap the belt around my throat and squeeze it ever so tightly
Bound me. Bound my feet.
Bound me. Bound my wrists.
If it's a tie, then blind fold me
If it's a ball, then gag me
If it's your mouth, then put it on me
Oh, how about this for an idea; tie my body up and down, and bite me all over
Bound me. Bound my ankles.
Bound me. Bound my hands.
Bound me. Bound my breasts....


Just don't forget that we'll need a Safe Word

Not Your Odinary 'Goldilocks'

My goodness, his hands are heaven
Such so big, strong and muscular hands he has
He could kill me with his fingers
His hands are killers
His fingers are monsters
His nails will tare and rip through your skin like diamond on glass
His arms seem average but I know the strength in them is deadly

The veins in his arms alone could apply enough pressure to my throat for me to suffocate if he was to choke me

My goodness what big hands he has
His fingers are huge
His hands are just right in size
No, he’s not using them in the kitchen, but a more appropriate setting
Lying down on the perfect sized bed, body next to body, feeling his big hands swallow up my thighs
Roll over on top; I’ll let his big fingers engross my hips and fingertips
Oh my, what big hands he has….. which are perfect enough for me

Mr. Snow White Knight - KING

His skin is snow soft white

His scent is quiet tasteful and calm

He has dark jet black hair and his body is as a build of amour as of a White Knight

He verbalize with a voice that could cure a woman with his pretty aphrodisiac lips of balm

The redness of his skin makes her body plead for him

His beautiful unidentifiable eye color drowns her being into melting brim

Thickness of his body drives her mind crazy

Crazy thoughts of sadism because of this bodied amour of toughness

When his white manly voice speaks its sends a master to slave mentality to her that makes her hazy

He has the entire amour needed to make her sultry fantasies come true of roughness

Oh Mr. Snow White – Knight King, come on to her like a rainfall

Oo Mr. King of White as Snow Knight, use that body amour, put your strength inside of her to maul

Use your powers to make her succumb

Use your powers to make her body numb

Cut her with your sword, make her bleed from your weapon

Torture her with your blades, make her want after and cry from weapons

His skin is snow soft white

But he makes her benight

His body is as a build of an amour of a White Knight

He will use his White King power to pervert with her with trite

Mr. Snow White Knight – King

Please give her, from your power, a sensual wring

Heat on a Cold Night

That night I haven't experienced anything like that before

It was pleasurable feelings that sensationalized down into my core.

I cant even begin to explain how comfortable I was with you

My un-nervousness while being exposed to you is something I cannot construe.

Butterflies fill my stomach every time I think back on how I sucked your lips

The longing but patience to do it again tasting the feel of your kiss.

Becoming aroused every time I think back on how I sucked your kiss

The longing but patience to do it again tasting the feel of your lips.

"You are so beautiful" were the words you said to me making me feel at ease

Just the limited things we did were enough to wholly satisfy the please.

Your mouth on my body feeling the sensations of your tongue

Your mouth on my lips taking the very air I need to breathe away from my lungs.

The way your mouth sucked on my nipples gave me the greatest pleasure that I could ever bare

The way your mouth sucked and kiss all over my breasts as we see into each other without giving a hindering care.

I looked at you in the eyes to see you looking back while you were with me

No embarrassment or sense of weird we seeing each other with clear visibility.

I wanted to kiss you all over your body...your body is so sexy

There was a urge to go all over you that battled with me.

I loved the way our lips met and the savoring of our tongues in kissing while you grabbed and squeezed on my breasts

The extreme satisfying delight I received made me moan for you...for you is where my cause of my sweet sexual groans rest.

The tingle that ran through my body when you touched me between my legs caused me to become so wet

Becoming paralyzed in ecstasy from the touch of your fingers there is a feeling I wouldn't want to forget.

That night from the first kiss, from the first touch, the very relaxation in eye contact is something I have to admit I'm afraid to ask and say for it to happen again

To the last kiss, the last touch, the actions of that night is something I'm not sure if you would want it to happen again.

You were a complete gentleman that night and displayed stricken self control...you did nothing wrong

Being free with each other bodies being able to fully console...to do it again I wont push it along
 

Wet Experience

Together in a closely confined space...
I can feel you breathing.
From front to front holding each other, I can see your face..
My mouth to your neck, you can feel me teething..

I lather the cloth and press it against your body and the white substance begins to foam
My hands and eyes all over your body wondering in control, all over your body do my hands and eyes roam
I'll stand behind you and let my hands do all the talking
But its my body that will do all the stalking
Turn you around and now we see eye to eye
I kiss you all over your body where my lip imprints will lye



Together in a closely confined space..
You can feel me breathing.
From front to front holding each other, you can see my face
Your mouth to my neck, I can feel you teething...

You penetrate my skin with the softness of the alkali, you caress it all over me
Your hands and eyes explore me from top to bottom, they move upon my body freely
You stand behind me, Ill rest my head on your shoulder while your fingers clean my body
And its you slow dancing with me in the shower, you feeling on my body
You turn me around and now to each other we can see
Your lips over my body, I feel the softness of your kiss causing my eyes to reap teary



Together in a closely confined space...
We feel each others breathing.
From front to front holding each other, we can see each other faces..
Exchanges from our mouths to our necks, we can feel each other teething.

You pin me up against the shower wall and your hands so tightly hold my wrists above my head
Both unto us we can feel the water fall and you treat me all over my body from toe to head
I'll hold you up on the shower wall and my hands grab your hair and so roughly frisks your body so tough
Both unto us does the water continue to fall and I'll serve your body to the full of every possibility, til you say enough

Your hands gently applies pressure to my throat
As we cleaned each other from top to bottom
Your big strong man hands, my love, so rough on my neck cause me to choke
I love touching, holding, and feeling your hands, there's something magical and special about 'em



Now our shower is done and has come to an end
Our first wet experience together, Im sure we'll want to do it again
Next, its time for us to lay down and go to sleep
In each others arms is where our rest will keep.