Bitter-Sweet

I do not know where to begin with you
You kidnap everything that’s in me that possess me to feel the I do about you
I cannot find the speech to say just how much im consumed by you
You have stolen every thought and feeling I can dare to express to you
Oh how am I so lost and don’t know what to say or do

I guess “bitter sweet” would be the only way to describe it
Sweet…seeing your smile and lighting up my day
Sweet…feeling your embrace where I wanted to stay
Sweet…being with you, not wanting to ever go away
Bitter…having to leave
Bitter…cuz im a bit on unease
Bitter…cuz what I want, you don’t want to seize

To be with you is something I wish that wasnt in fantasy land
I thought I gave up those hopes and wishes
I still don’t know why my fall for you is so grand
The things of you, or it’s just me, I don’t know which is


I’m still scrambling to find the words to describe how im feeling…you struck me
You took away my building blocks…now im left here in the open, just hanging
Im at a helplessness of words…you impaired me
You hide my security blanket…now im left uncovered…just pranging


Please don’t be overwhelmed, attraction is all quite simple
But im so sorry, I continue to share my feelings with you…when you have put up the boundaries
And just to let go, needs time…its not always all that simple
My apologies again for not thinking about what I might be doing to you….i know that I must respect the boundaries

Ice Breaker

MY INTRODUCTION….

Though you maybe as cold as ice,
(Ummm….I thinks you said you like rice).
Tall, white skin, and good-looking is what you be,
I’ll bet you could whip my ass playin the PS3.
Funny, sweet, and kind of raw is what you are,
(Hey, did you see that movie Avatar!?)
Into sports, variety in music, and young you is,
Fuck age, with all these characteristics, you’re hot with extra fizz!!
No, no…really I just wanted to bring your face to a smile,
But I’ll bet there’s a lot more words I can say that I could add to this pile…


WHEN IT GOT SERIOUS....

Eight o’ clock is when his body rises
But his sun is high all the day and night long
To him I have yet to tell any lies
He’s precious and delicate, to him, I would do no wrong
He inspires me to write, but all the literature is about him
I have no understanding, but yet, questions of where my feelings stem
There is almost a bit of embarrassment in the air
So to want more and take away from him, to him it wouldn't be fair
From obscure reasons he has put me under his capture
However its glass-like territory that I must be careful not to fracture
Why must I have this bolding spirit, always putting everything out on the line?
Don’t be worried or concern, lift the pressure, you’ll be just fine
Maybe I should slow down and forget all about it
Because I’m 99 percent sure he’s not even thinking about it
I might as well back off, as I look to shame
Please just say those magic words, and I’ll refrain
So this is it, I hit you with another play
Who knows what the next scene may be, but I’m prepared for him to give her away

He Should Had Came With a Warning

                                                                         GUN

HE SHOT ME

HE SHOT ME IN THE HEART

BUT HE HAS ONLY BEEN WOUNDING ME

SHOT AFTER SHOT AFTER SHOT

BUT IT WAS ALL OVER

HE JUST KEPT SHOOTING ME

WHY? WHAT DID I DO?

WHY? WHAT DID I SAY?

HE HAS NO REASONS

HE HAS NO ANSWERS

HE JUST PICKED UP THE GUN, PUT IT IN HIS HAND, GRIPPED HIS FINGER ON THE HANDLE, AND HE SQUEEZED THE TRIGGER

I FELT EVERY EFFECT, BUT I KEPT WALKING TOWARDS HIM

MY BODY HELD AND KEPT EVERY FRAGMENT, BUT I CONTINUED TO GO FORWARD TO HIM

HE NEVER DROPPED THE GUN, HE NEVER RAN AWAY

HE JUST STOOD THERE NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO NEXT OR SAY

HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT

HE WAS STUCK IN HIS FIRING OF WOUNDING ME; HE COULDN’T STOP, HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT

HE WANTED IT ALL TO END, BUT ONCE HE KNEW HE WAS DONE, HE KNEW I WOULD HAD BEEN LEFT INJURED AND WOUNDED

TO SHOOT ME KNOWING THAT I ALWAYS GAVE ALL THAT I COULD, PUTTING AND GOING ALL IN, HE COULD NEVER FACE THE WOUNDS THAT HE HAS AFFLICTED UNTO ME

IT TOOK ME BLEEDING AND PLEADING OUT OF MY PORES TO ASK WHY HE HAS DONE THIS TO ME

IT TOOK ME CRYING AND DYING OUT OF MY EYES AND HEART TO DIVULGE THE BULLETS HE HAS DISCHARGED INTO ME

THE MOST FUCKED UP THING ABOUT IT IS, IS THAT I KNOW HE KNOWS HE HURTED ME, BUT HE NEVER SAID “IM SORRY”

EVEN THOUGH HE HAS SAID FOR ME NOT TO BLAME MYSELF, THAT EVERYTHING WAS HIS FAULT, BUT BEING THANKFUL FOR ME BEING A WONDERFUL FRIEND

DOES THAT SHOW REMORSE? DOES THAT SHOW ANY EMPATHY? PERHAPS…BUT I DO APPRECIATE THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF HIS WORNG DOING

FOR MOST PEOPLE, AN APOLOGY WOULDN’T BE SUFFICIENT ENOUGH. BUT FOR ME, IT WOULD BE EVERYTHING. IT WOULD BE CLOSER TO THE CLOSURE THAT I NEED

I WOULDN’T WISH WHAT HE HAS DONE TO ME ON MY BEST WORST ENEMIES

FUNNY THING ABOUT THE WAY HE KILLED ME, EVEN THOUGH IF I WANTED HIM TO FEEL WHAT IM FEELING, EVEN IF I WOULD WANT HIM TO ENDURE THE PAIN I HAVE ENDURED FROM HIM, JUST TO SEE WHAT ITS LIKE, I DON’T WANT THAT.

I DON’T EVEN WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO HIM. I DON’T WANT KARMA TO PAY HIM A VISIT

BUT THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER

I STILL WISH AND HOPE THE BEST FOR HIM.

IM GOING TO MISS AN INPORTANT DAY THAT I WANT TO SEE

IM GOING TO MISS HIM REACHING HIS GOALS

IM JUST GOING TO MISS EVERYTHING

BUT HE NEVER WANTED ME TO HAVE A PART IN HIS LIFE, THAT’S WHY HE HAD HIS GUN; THAT’S WHY HE USED IT ON ME.

AND AFTER HE “BLASTED” ME FOR SO LONG, HE WAS THE ONE TO SAY BYE?! (BUT I GUESS IN A WAY IT WAS BETTER FOR HIM TO SAY IT CUZ I NEVER WOULD HAVE)

I JUST HOPE HE REMEMBERS AND NEVER FORGET…..

…but then again, he never cared anyway

IM DEAD?….TO HIM