Frantic Scramble

Screaming at the top of my lungs but no words come out
Feeling the anger within my heart but my madness is sound
Millions of thoughts running through my head but they're in doubt
Anxiousness flowing through my body all around
Just trying to find my way out of this box I'm in
Not fighting hard enough to end this chaos again
No one understands me and no one ever tries
It's like this happens over and over, my life dies and dies
Blown to pieces
Can't see what this life is
What is this
Greatness I've truly missed
My insides are scrambled and I don't know how to feel
Free flowing and undone nothing seems alive and real
Frantically hoping and wishing for my dreams to come true
Expecting them to fall into my lap, I don't have what it takes to follow through
Unable to push myself to be and do good and great
To build my self image is a huge undertake
So what do I do now, this is a gigantic ramble
This is my life, heart, and mind, all in a frantic scramble

Operate

I'm down and want to cry
I'm hopeless and but not yet ready to die
I'm tired and just want a new life
I'm filled with hurt and strife
I just want to break down and cry
To be on my bed in tears to lie
Waiting on a change to happen in my life
Someone dissect this pain out of my heart with a knife

Help Me Out

Trying to hold back the tears while sitting in the car
Its the circumstances that has us apart
Filled with shyness I don't know what to say
I just know that I want you from day to day
Satisfy our friendship by talking to me and feed me
Don't leave me alone and don't leave me empty
You are the only one that wish for
Unfortunately, I can't make my way through this closed door
Make a way where you give me enough
Ease my emotions, spend time with me and don't make this rough

Night & Day

If I could be there to ease the tension of your day that was rough, I'd relax you where you wouldn't be able to get enough

Have a good night's rest
and
fall asleep imagining my sweet caress.

Forget about the day and
look forward to the rising of the sun as a start of a new and beautiful day.

Awake and see the the rising of the sun
A newness has risen and the day has just begun
Take the day step by step and don't forget to breathe
Show kindness and give mercy, present a different side of you no one would believe
Let the wind of the air to motivate you to feel good
Allow the heat of the sun to move you like never before you could
Enjoy the day and just have fun
And remember there's someone crazy about you hon

What Men Do to Her

She's a sex object, no one cares about her heart
Just there for sex, they never wanted anything else from the start
She's a sex object, no one cares what's on her mind
Just there for sex, they try to get in her from behind

She gets used and played, all they do is pretend and lie
Unfortunately for her, when she finds this out, she always cry
She gets played and used, they never want friendship
Unfortunately for her, they fooled her into believing there could be a relationship

She's sex toyed
Just to try and converse, they always get annoyed
She's a play piece
As soon as she say no to sex, their appearances begin to decrease

***************************************************************

I hate that I'm not worth much to them
I hate that I'm just sex to him
I hate that I'm always cast out
I hate that when I say no they reroute
I hate the fact that my heart gets played
But I should know better from the jump anyway
I hate the fact that they lie to me and pretend to be sweet
Pretending being friends knowing what they say, they won't keep
I hate the fact that this feels like my abuse all over again
I hate the way I feel when I realize all they wanted was sex, again
I hate that I'm so stupid hoping that the next one would be real
I hate that when I say no to sex, that with me, they wont even deal

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Why am I always seen as a sex object?
Is that what I project?
I've been locked down for years now but that don't phase them
He just have this craze for me to have sex with him
Why does this always happen to me?
Why can't a guy just want me, for me?
I'm tired of being dragged along with the "we will be friends"
But that's not true because when I try to talk to them its always a dead end
That's the excuse they always put out there
Pretending to be friends but inside their intentions they don't care
I'm tired of this and I just want to go back...
To the days when things we good when sex was on the storage rack
I see a guy that I like and it starts off cool
But after a while, eventually his penis begins to rule
Im just tired of being and getting hurt like this...
Having to say no to sex then I get dismissed
When will it ever stop, when will it ever end
To meet a guy, no sex, and where the friendship is genuine

I'm Battling

The heart wants what the heart wants
But my body is aching to have him
Tears flow down my face because I can't give into my flesh
I choose to honor God with my body, to give it to him, for in his cleanness I am dressed
But oh how he knows that I'm fighting within myself to not go against him
So I hope and pray that He sees my commitment to him and is pleased
And I ask God to give me rest and if I am rejected, to release and heal
the pain in my heart with ease
This brings me to tears because I want this man in every way
And at the same time I'm battling because my job is to please God from day to day
In the back of my mind I think to myself he isn't interested anyway
There's something about actions that gives the silence away
I just want to say fuck it and let's just get married just so when can have sex
That's a bit crazy and extreme but I want it from him only, there's no one that's close to next
So how long will this battle continue, that I don't know
But this situation will have to reveal its end, but to him I wouldn't want to let him go
I'm so torn and afflicted but I don't want him to say no because of what this is doing to me
I don't want him to say no because of what I'm going through, like he wants to make things easy
The battle will be over and all this will be over and done
Whatever happens either way, I just hope that my heart for him is won

Spell it Out

Make me to know you. Make me to fall in love with you.
Invite me into your world. Invite me to be your girl.
Give me your heart. Give me your every part.
Utilize the feelings inside me. Utilize my eagerness to give you anything
Explain to me what's on your mind. Explain to me what's on your heart every time
Let go and just take me. Let go and receive me

Maybe I'll step back
Ignore what's going on and don't react
Give up on a chase
Urgently running after you isn't my place
Eventually something is going to give
Look into me, with you is where I want to live

Massage my body from top to bottom
Ignite the passions I have for Yeoman
Guide me on what I can do to you
Usher in a sensual setting but what's to happen, don't misconstrue
Ease me into your trap, if you'll do it right I won't be awake to tap
Lovers is what we could be, but first we'll have to be each other's completely

Magnolias are white and
Iris' are pink, a Mexican man and a black woman together is a bit distinct
Grass is green and the
Universe is wide, I'll promise you, one day I'll let you inside
Earth is round and the
Lakes are blue, I'll spelled out your name in poetry, for a chance to be with you

What Are My Chances

I would rather have him than any other guy,
these feelings I have had I can no longer deny.
But could I take this risk to have him,
sadly I think my chances are slim.
Is he willing to at least give it a try,
my heart would hate to have to say goodbye.
Yes my body calls for him but I'm a locked up jewel,
to withhold it from him might seem cruel.
It's not that I'm purposely not giving it to him,
it's not that I'm intentionally keeping it away from him.
I don't expect him to understand,
but being celibate is what I've planned.
I would love to have him like I had before,
but unfortunately that's a closed door.
How interested is he in me,
is the sex the main thing for him to have me.
What are my chances when it comes to a situation like this,
would he have a relationship with me or will I be dismissed.
I have to ask myself if I'm really being fair to him,
I would hate it if he thought I'm being grim.
I want to get to a place with him where I can eventually say 'i love you',
that's how strong I want this but my chances might not go through.
Does he know that he has lit a spark in me,
I'm on fire for him and I have been since the beginning
So what are my chances and put my heart to rest,
I just have to let all this out, it's not good to suppress.

What He has Done for Me

My Savior has done this.

For you have loved me with an everlasting love
For you have drawn me with your loving kindness
You have cleansed me with your grace and mercy
For you have clothed me with your righteousness

Blood was shed to save me from your wrath
Holes was drilled to save me from death
Being hung high so I wouldn't have to be without
Underneath for days so my sins can be buried

Raised to new life so I can live
Seated in majesty watching over me
Reconciled me to the Father so I can commune with him
Praying on my behalf, interceeding for me

For you have loved me with an everlasting love
Your thoughts and heart is consumed with loving me
For you have drawn me with your living kindness
It is your very nature to take care of me
You have cleansed me with your grace and mercy
Leaving and guiding me so I will never be alone
For you have clothed me with your righteousness

My Lord. My God. My King.

What He has Done for Me

My Savior has done this.

For you have loved me with an everlasting love
For you have drawn me with your loving kindness
You have cleansed me with your grace and mercy
For you have clothed me with your righteousness

Blood was shed to save me from your wrath
Holes was drilled to save me from death
Being hung high so I wouldn't have to be without
Underneath for days so my sins can be buried

Raised to new life so I can live
Seated in majesty watching over me
Reconciled me to the Father so I can commune with him
Praying on my behalf, interceeding for me

For you have loved me with an everlasting love
Your thoughts and heart is consumed with loving me
For you have drawn me with your living kindness
It is your very nature to take care of me
You have cleansed me with your grace and mercy
Leaving and guiding me so I will never be alone
For you have clothed me with your righteousness

My Lord. My God. My King.

What's Burning within Me

I can't get you off my mind.
When I go to sleep at night and put my head on my pillow, all I see is your face.
When I awake in the morning, you are a close second on my mind.
When I go out and enjoy a night life on the town, I wish to myself, how I wish you were on my arm.
When I lay myself down at night, I imagine you holding me underneath sheets.

I picture us holding hands and making plans
Fantasizing your lips kissing mine
I picture us being together, me as your girl, and you as my man
Fantasizing your lips kissing mine

I can't get you off my mind
Thinking of your touch, all I want is to cuddle with you
When I dwell on the thought of you, I envision your soft body holding me
When I remember back to the first time I saw you, I knew immediately we were going to be explosive
When I see your name, my body lights up inside me with suspense and joy
When I see your talent, there's a longing in me to get to know you

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My heart beats fast for you
What are you going to do with it
My mind races crazy about you
What will you do to make it quit
My body is screaming out to be held by your arms
My life is in detour waiting to get swept away with your charm
I know there's a passion that can't be quenched
But there's a part of me that can't be relinquished
To be able to control myself with you.. this is more then sex
To be intimate with you is much deeper, but I know this is complex

A Love Song to the Lord

I love you Lord, for you have set me free

I love you Lord, for you give me victory

I love you Lord, for you always love me

I love you Lord, for you give me all good things unconditionally

I love you Lord, for you have healed my heart

I love you Lord, for you are always with me, we'll never be apart

I love you Lord, for you have renewed my mind

I love you Lord, for I am yours and you are mine

I love you Lord, for you have filled my heart

I love you Lord, for you loved me from before the start

I Love you Lord, for you, yes, you are my rock

I love you Lord, for your love, mercy, and grace, for me never stops

I Love you Lord, for you make the sun shine from above

I love you Lord, for you rain down your heart of love

I love you Lord, for you have restored my soul

I love you Lord, for I will serve you until I am gray and old

I love you Lord, for you give me joy and peace

I love you Lord, for only with you do I wish to spend eternity